What If External Validation Is Keeping You Small in a Life Meant to Be Big?

Let’s get honest for a second.

How many times have you paused your dream waiting for someone to say,
“Wow, that’s amazing, go for it”?

How often have you reworded a post to sound more polished, clever, more … likeable?

How many times have you dimmed your truth because you weren’t sure how it would land?

Yeah. Same.

We all want to be seen. It’s human. It’s natural.
But somewhere along the way, many of us started needing the applause to feel like we were enough.

And when your worth is tied to external validation, likes, praise, promotions, approval, it becomes a silent leash. One that keeps you circling safety instead of soaring into your purpose.

🧠 The Sneaky Cost of Always Needing Approval

Validation feels good, until it becomes the only thing you trust.

And that’s when it starts costing you:

✨ The launch you never do
✨ The idea you water down
✨ The version of yourself you perform instead of live

We end up chasing approval in exchange for our authenticity. And that exchange? It’s far too expensive.

“The more validation you need, the less you are of yourself.” – Wayne Dyer

What the Research Shows (And Your Soul Already Knows)

Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading voice in self-compassion, reminds us:

“When we base our worth on others’ approval, we hand over the steering wheel of our lives.”

And research from Harvard backs this:
Leaders who constantly seek validation are more prone to burnout, decision fatigue and inner disconnection, even if they’re hitting “success” on paper.

Because truth is: success without alignment just feels like another mask.

🚨 5 Subtle Signs You’re Stuck in the Validation Loop

1. You rewrite emails, posts, or pitches 5 times (and still don’t hit “send”)
2. You second-guess your decisions, constantly
3. You play small in rooms where you should shine
4. You don’t celebrate your wins unless someone else claps first
5. You adjust who you are depending on who’s watching

Sound familiar? You're not broken.
You’re just overdue for a permission slip, the kind you give yourself.

💡How to Reclaim Your Power (One Brave Shift at a Time)

Here’s where you begin:

1. Write your own permission slip

Literally.
“I give myself full permission to ___.”
Stick it on your mirror. Live it out.

2. Ask: “What would I do if no one had an opinion?”

Let that question lead you.

3. Celebrate yourself before the world does

Don’t wait for applause. Show up proud.

4. Trade performance for presence

Impressing is exhausting. Connection is powerful.

5. Surround yourself with reflectors, not critics

Find people who mirror your truth, not manage your image.

💬 From My Heart to Yours

I know what it’s like to crave being seen. To want that “well done.”
To wait for the nod that says, “You’re doing it right.”

But the most powerful shift I ever made and the one I guide my clients through is this:

✨ You don’t need to be chosen. You need to choose yourself.

You don’t need to wait to be ready.
You just need to trust that your real self, not the polished, perfect one, is more than enough.

Because the world doesn’t need another version of who you think you should be.
It needs you, the soul-led, slightly scared, wildly powerful version that’s ready to rise.

Ready to Stop Seeking Approval and Start Building What’s True?

At Mag Elysium, we don’t just build business strategies.
We build alignment. Wholeness. Purpose. Confidence.

We work from the inside out. Because no spreadsheet can compensate for a soul out of sync.

If this resonated, I’d love to hear from you. 💌
Reach out for coaching or simply drop an email. No pressure. Just real conversation.

Your story deserves to be led by you.