Why We Don’t Finish What We Started: How To Change That

You were inspired. You took the leap. You started something with passion a wellness routine, a business, a mindset shift. And then… the momentum slowed. Life got loud. You drifted.

Sound familiar?

You’re not alone. And more importantly, you’re in transition.

What you’re bumping into is something called the Law of Sustainment.

Let’s say you’ve spent most of your life as a caterpillar. You were really good at crawling, navigating the world close to the ground, blending in with your surroundings.

Then something stirs inside you. A longing. Not for more of the same but for wings.

But here’s the thing about becoming a butterfly:

You don’t just wake up with wings. You go into the cocoon and everything you once knew begins to dissolve.

And that’s where most people stop.

Your nervous system panics. Your identity wobbles. Your old habits scream, “Just go back to crawling, it’s safer.”

As Dr. Nicole LePera says:

"Cocooning is transformation… disguised as chaos."

That’s the Law of Sustainment. The natural resistance that shows up not when you start something new… but when you begin to transform.

This concept suggests that while motivation may spark change, true sustainment only happens when:

• Your identity evolves
• Your nervous system feels safe
• You create support structures that match your new self

In other words: you can’t fly while still thinking like a caterpillar.

Dr. Gabor Maté puts it perfectly:

“The moment you decide to grow, the real work begins in making safety your new baseline.”

• Your identity hasn’t caught up with your intention
• You’re relying on motivation instead of structure
• You’re surrounded by people who liked you better in caterpillar mode
• You haven’t yet made your cocoon feel safe

Bonus reason:

You bought another planner instead of opening the one you already own. (Hey we've all been there)

🦋 1. Upgrade Your Self-Image

Affirm your evolution. Say it aloud:

"I’m no longer who I was and that’s okay. I’m growing wings now."

🧘 2. Build Nervous-System-Friendly Rituals

Start small. Make it safe. Anchor each habit with something comforting. Tiny steps signal your system: We’re okay. We’re becoming.

🌿 3. Surround Yourself With Flight School Mentors

Find people who see the butterfly in you even when you’re mid-cocoon. (Preferably those who hype you up and remind you to drink water.)

💌 4. Write a Comeback Letter

To yourself, from your future self. For the days when crawling feels tempting again or you find yourself elbow-deep in cookie dough.

🔄 5. Normalize the Dip

Even butterflies rest before they fly. Progress isn’t linear.

Permission to pause ≠ permission to quit.

Martha Beck sums it up:

"If you’re uncomfortable, congratulations. You’re on the edge of real change."

Transformation isn’t about grinding harder; it’s about shedding old skins with grace.
Your nervous system is trying to protect you, not punish you.

And you? You’re not “failing.” You’re just becoming someone your past self couldn’t yet imagine.

Let the cocoon hold you.
Let the discomfort shape you.
Let the wings arrive, one breath at a time.

And hey, if you cry in your journal, eat ice cream for dinner or feel like giving up halfway through? 

Congratulations. That means you’re in it.